How to Convince People to Take Your Advice
Do people regularly ask for your opinion and then do their own thing?
Are you amazed when people pay you for your advice and then immediately disregard it?
Have you ever wondered why this happens?
One of the questions I frequently receive from attorneys is: “Why don’t my clients take my advice? I have their best interests in mind but they don’t want to listen to me.”
The answer lies not in what you say but in how you say it.
There are three specific steps that will help get people to put your good advice into practice. They are:
1. Make an emotional appeal
2. Give them specific action steps to follow
3. Associate negative consequences with NOT following your advice
Here’s some additional detail on the steps listed above:
The Emotional Appeal – Ninety percent of all decisions that are made by humans in life are emotional decisions. It is human nature to make decisions based upon our emotional reaction to a given situation and the JUSTIFY our decision with rational reasoning.
This is even true in a business-to-business setting. Once I was proposing a complex (and expensive) organizational effectiveness solution to a large multi-national company. There was an involved bidding process that had my firm up against two large competitors. My company nailed all of the presentations we gave to the decision-making board involved in this process. Our solution was competitively priced. We believed we were “a lock” to get the business. When the decision was made, we found out that the deal was awarded to the highest priced competitor. I asked for a meeting with the committee to debrief (mainly to find out why we were not selected so we could improve). The head of the procurement committee responded with a statement that I will never forget.
She said: “Dave, your firm was a perfect fit in every way. When we presented the proposals to the president of the company he told us that we needed to go with your competitor. He said that his son played youth soccer with the president of the competing firm and he had a deep personal relationship with this man. He believed that this relationship would help us receive better service and save us money in the long run.”
In the case highlighted above, the president’s emotional decision – justified by logic, trumped even the most compelling logical argument I could make.
When you make an appeal to someone to take your advice, focus on emotions such as trust, integrity and fear (more on that in a few paragraphs). Emotions resonate with people. That’s what they remember.
Provide Specific Steps – We must make it easy for people to take the advice we provide. There can be no ambiguity when we offer up our expertise.
When you are taking a trip to a new place do you ever go on-line and print out a map and turn-by-turn directions? Which portion of the printed guidance do you find easier to follow? Most people respond that the turn-by-turn directions – the specific words - are easier to follow. This is because our brain finds it easier to grasp the directions in small segments. The map requires a specific visualization of the route and we all know that the map often does not accurately reflect the territory.
Giving people specific action steps to follow is a way to help them grasp one step at a time in a specific process. It is far more likely that folks will listen to, and take advantage of, our guidance if we break it down into manageable chunks.
Clearly Articulate the Negative Consequences of NOT Following your Advice – This is where fear comes in. People are far more likely to take action to move AWAY from fear than they are to take action TOWARD pleasure. This is just how we are wired.
One of my neighbors is a personal trainer. He was having problems retaining clients after they went through the initial orientation session with him. He made one seemingly minor change in his approach and he doubled his client base almost overnight.
At the outset of the orientation training session he wrote down the participant’s weight, height and he calibrated their body fat. He then proceeded to take them through the exercises in the gym that he recommended for them. At the conclusion of the session he gave the participant an insurance actuarial chart that determined their life expectancy based upon their weight and their body fat.
He then circled the amount of years they were taking OFF of their life by being overweight. The fear – in this case the fear of an early death – was enough to motivate over 80% of his clients to sign up with him for a 90–day training program.
Fear is healthy. It keeps us from doing all kinds of stupid things that could harm us. We can all learn how to use fear for our benefit in our personal lives as well as in our interactions with our clients.
Remember, these tactics are powerful. If you use them to manipulate your client, you may get them to take action in the short run but ultimately they will feel betrayed if they find out that you used them to make a quick buck.
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Your future clients (prospects) are screaming this at you.
A couple of days ago I met someone who I am certain that I will never forget. This was not a famous person. This was not someone who was a business leader. This was not a polished speaker or influential pillar of the community.
This person is one of the best marketers that I have met in a long time. The minute she opened her mouth I was captivated. As I watched her presentation, I re-learned how to approach someone in a non-threatening manner and capture their interest.
Who was this marketing genius? Was it someone who had years of experience? Was it someone who had years of expensive marketing education?
No
This marketing superstar is a 12 year old girl in Miami, Florida.
What was the key component to her presentation that had such a profound effect on me?
This little marketing prodigy adhered to the primary rule of marketing - one that most of today’s conventional marketers have forgotten….engage the audience.
So here’s how Julie (the little marketer) won my business.
Her approach was skillful. She walked up to me as I entered the supermarket and she said:
-
“Excuse me sir, can I ask you something? You look like a successful person. What is the best way to raise money for a really good cause?”
This approach was brilliant because it immediately engaged me. It made me think. I responded that it depended on the cause and I asked her if she had a one in mind. She then said:
- “I am trying to start up a new Girl Scout troop here in town and I need some help. This troop is for kids who don’t get to be in after- school groups because they don’t have a lot of money. Most Girl Scout troops meet at a different person’s home each week and the moms make food and stuff. These kids can’t do that because their moms work. Also the kids won’t be able to afford the uniforms and the activities. I thought that if I raised enough money, we could ask these kids to join and they won’t need to feel bad because their parents couldn’t pay. Do you have any ideas that could help me do this?”
I said that I did but it would take more time than I could spend right now.
She replied with:
- “If you don’t mind, please give me your name, email and phone number and my mom will call you. “
I readily agreed.
Finally she said:
- “Thank you. And if you’d like to help right now, I’ll be happy to accept any donations. You don’t have any money you could spare that could start us off, do you?”
I gladly gave her $5 and I felt great about doing it. And sure enough, that night her mom called me and asked if I would volunteer to help them.
Maybe I’m just a softie. But this kid used a couple of good marketing tactics that can work to your benefit as an attorney looking for new business. She asked me a question – right off the bat. This immediately forced me to think of an answer.
Every question that people ask us gets answered – either out loud or in our minds. As a marketing tool, this interrupts the usual thought pattern of “Look out. Somebody is trying to sell us something…”
This approach was the key to Julie’s success and you can make it the key to your success too. The next time you are waiting in line somewhere, ask a question to start a conversation. See what reaction you get. As you practice your approach you will become better and better at engaging people. This is the first step in building a relationship – and relationships are the key to success in professional services.
Speak Like a Human and Get More Business
The conversation began just like the dialogue I’ve had many times with attorneys in just about every area of specialization. The attorney sitting across the desk from me began:
- “I’m really smart. Graduated top of my class. I clerked for Judge Smith. I interned at Smarty, Smarter and Billem and I was in Super Lawyers for my specialization in my state. In my current role, I help NGOs mitigate risk, terminate unproductive agreements and negotiate adequate consideration in transactions where we relinquish certain protected rights.”
As I scratch my head, he continues:
- “I just don’t understand why I have such a hard time finding clients.”
This conversation takes place a few times each month. Sometimes it happens on the phone and sometimes it happens in person. Sometimes the attorney is a “high potential” in a big firm who just can’t originate new business and sometimes he is an attorney in a solo practice who wants to make more money.
The problem is that these smart attorneys don’t know what the real problem is.
Here is the reality: Our friend in the example is smart. He is probably a good lawyer. But he forgot how to communicate like a normal person.
People want to work with folks they know, like and trust. They don’t want to work with an all-knowing computer. Communicating with a client is an interaction between two human beings. People have to like you before they will decide to work with you. It is the way of the world.
I know that you’ve heard that people want to work with the best. And you may have heard that they don’t care if the person is likable. You’ve heard that they want a pit bull for a lawyer. This may be true for an isolated case or in a specific incident. But for the long term, if you are going for the big prize of Client Lifetime Value, you need to be likeable and that starts with good communication.
Here are a couple of things to think about when you are meeting with a potential client for the first time:
Imagine that the client is your mom, dad, sister or brother. How would you treat them? What would be the level of respect you would show them? How intently would you listen before you spoke? What questions would you ask them? How would you ask those questions?
If you begin to THINK like this you will find yourself ACTING differently. Even your body language will be different.
Remember that although this may by your 1000th Real Estate closing or your 156th divorce, it may be your client’s first. They are confused, afraid and concerned about moving forward with the rest of their life after this transaction.
You have to keep those kinds of things in mind as you communicate with your clients. It is your job, but it is their life. Don’t ever forget that. Even in a corporate setting, someone may be betting their career on you.
Yes, they want to know that you’ve done this before. Yes, they want to hear about how you have helped other folks in similar situations. But they want to hear it within the context of their situation. That’s what is important.
Finally, if you have to use words that your 14 year old nice or nephew would need to look up in a dictionary, you will not be successful. Your primary responsibility is to give your client good advice. If they don’t understand you, you can’t advise them effectively.
This is particularly true for CEOs and their country club buddies. The only difference between them and mom and pop is that mom and pop will admit when they don’t understand something. Most CEOs will smile, nod and go along with you in the meeting room – and then have you removed from the case as soon as you walk out of the office.
You must be liked before you can be trusted. The process of winning someone over begins with good communication.
So mitigate the big words and cease and desist with the legal jargon and you’ll make more money.
